150 Movies You Should Die Before You See

I recently received this book as a gift:

I didn’t have the heart to tell the per­son who gave it to me that I’ve already seen 86.2% of the movies in it. (Seri­ously, I did the math.)

As a self-proclaimed afi­cionado of bad movies, I would love to be able to say I could rec­om­mend this book to you, which would look great on your cof­fee table and might even trick peo­ple into think­ing you’re hip­per than you actu­ally are, but sadly I don’t feel it’s deserv­ing of the offi­cial ShezCrafti Stamp of Approval.

Why?

• The author is extremely unfunny.
• Actual prod­uct descrip­tion: “Sure, everyone’s seen  The Rocky Hor­ror Pic­ture Show ‚  The Texas Chain Saw Mas­sacre , and  Attack of the Killer Toma­toes . But as you’ll learn in this shock­ingly taste­less col­lec­tion of great awful movies, there’s so much  more  to the world of truly bad film.”
• It includes  Sus­piria. 
• It includes  Kung Fu Hus­tle .
• It includes Red Dawn .
• …and many other cult clas­sics that don’t deserve the lame attempt at mock­ery that Steve Miller is ped­dling here.

The thing about “bad movies” is that “bad” doesn’t always mean “not a good film.” Yes, truly bad movies do exist, but most of the ones in this col­lec­tion are hor­ror movies that are sup­posed  to be bad, cult films that actu­ally are good, and exper­i­men­tal odd­i­ties that are notable or ground­break­ing in some way. And the major­ity of them are hor­ror films.

Since all 150 films are listed right in the book’s table of contents–which is freely avail­able to pre­view at Ama­zon –I feel no guilt what­so­ever in reveal­ing them to you right here:

• Bat­tle­field Earth (2000)
• Bride of the Mon­ster (1955)
• Crea­ture with the Atom Brain (1955)
• Hideous! (1997)
• Troll 2 (1990)
• The Black Dahlia (2006)
• The Con­queror (1956)
• Heaven’s Gate (1980)
• Howard the Duck (1986)
• Hud­son Hawk (1991)
• Ishtar (1987)
• Sahara (2005)
• The Spirit (2008)
• Black Drag­ons (1942)
• Crea­ture From the Black Lagoon (1954)
• The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932)
• Red Dawn (1984)
• Trapped by Tele­vi­sion (1936)
• Zom­bies on Broad­way (1945)
• Ami­tyville Doll­house (1996)
• The Corpse Van­ishes (1942)
• The House on Skull Moun­tain (1974)
• Lady Franken­stein (1971)
• Can­ni­bal Holo­caust (1980)
• Ceme­tery Man (1994)
• Dead Alive (1992)
• Deep Red (1975)
• Demons (1985)
• The Machine Girl (2008)
• Re-Animator (1985)
• The Ruins (2008)
• The Street Fighter (1974)
• Sus­pe­ria (1977)
• The Trav­eler (2006)
• Urban Flesh: Rebirth Edi­tion (2007)
• April Fool’s Day (1986)
• My Bloody Valen­tine (1981)
• Santa Claus Con­quers the Mar­tians (1964)
• Satan’s Lit­tle Helper (2004)
• Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974)
• Bad Taste (1987)
• The Bloody Brood (1959)
• Can­ni­bal: The Musi­cal (1993)
• Demen­tia 13 (1963)
• Hang­men (1987)
• Kiss Daddy Good­night (1987)
• Return to Hor­ror High (1987)
• Ten Fin­gers of Death (1971)
• 1941 (1979)
• Bal­lis­tic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
• Bat­man & Robin (1997)
• Cat­woman (2004)
• City Heat (1984)
• The Love Guru (2008)
• On Deadly Ground (1994)
• The Reap­ing (2007)
• The Black Cat (1934)
• From Beyond (1986)
• Mod­esty Blaise (1966)
• Moon­raker (1979)
• The Pun­isher (1989)
• The Raven (1935)
• Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)
• Attack of the Giant Leeches (2008)
• Attack of the Killer Toma­toes! (1978)
• Bite Me! (2004)
• Boogey­man (2005)
• Cry of the Ban­shee (1970)
• Die Hard Drac­ula (1998)
• Evil Bong (2006)
• The Fury of the Wolf­man (1972)
• The Giant Claw (1957)
• Humanoids from the Deep (1980)
• Jack Frost (1997)
• Jeep­ers Creep­ers (2001)
• Kung Fu Zom­bie (1982)
• The Manster (1959)
• Mon­sturd (2003)
• The Mummy’s Shroud (1967)
• Return of the Liv­ing Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)
• Snow­beast (1977)
• The Sound of Hor­ror (1964)
• Tsui Hark’s Vam­pire Hunters (2002)
• Undead or Alive (2007)
• The Wasp Woman (1959)
• Were­wolf in a Girls’ Dor­mi­tory (1961)
• Zom­bies of Mora Tau (1957)
• Attack of the Mon­sters (1969)
• Black Magic Wars (1982)
• City Hunter (1993)
• Fan­tasy Mis­sion Force (1982)
• For Your Height Only (1981)
• Gam­mera the Invin­ci­ble (1966)
• Kung Fu Hus­tle (2004)
• Ninja Cham­pion (1985)
• Ninja the Pro­tec­tor (1986)
• Rein­car­na­tion (2005)
• Sis­ter Street Fighter (1974)
• The Ape Man (1943)
• Buttcrack (1998)
• Cadav­erella (2007)
• The Creeps (1997)
• Dead Dudes in the House (1991)
• The Demons of Lud­low (1983)
• Fist of Fear, Touch of Death (1980)
• Gothic (1986)
• Jesus Christ, Vam­pire Hunter (2001)
• Nud­ist Colony of the Dead (1991)
• Postal (2007)
• Satanic Yup­pies (1996)
• Skele­ton Key (2006)
• Sub­ur­ban Sasquatch (2004)
• The Witches’ Moun­tain (1972)
• Dan­ger: Dia­bo­lik (1968)
• My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)
• Sgt. Kabuki­man, N.Y.P.D. (1990)
• Ultra­christ! (2003)
• Alien Blood (1999)
• Bad Chan­nels (1992)
• Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
• Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
• Xtro (1983)
• Alone in the Dark (2005)
• An Amer­i­can Carol (2008)
• The Astro-Zombies (1968)
• Back From Hell (1993)
• The Cas­tle of Fu Manchu (1969)
• The Dead Talk Back (1993)
• The Evil Brain From Outer Space (1965)
• Freddy Got Fin­gered (2001)
• Future Force (1989)
• Grave­yard of Hor­ror (1971)
• Hob­gob­lins (1988)
• The Isle of the Snake Peo­ple (1971)
• The Killer Eye (1999)
• Laser Mis­sion (1989)
• Maniac (1934)
• Mon­ster a-Go-Go (1965)
• Night Crawlers (1996)
• The Night Eve­lyn Came Out of the Grave (1971)
• Ninja Phan­tom Heroes (1987)
• Oasis of the Zom­bies (1981)
• Ring of Ter­ror (1962)
• Rock­a­billy Vam­pire (1996)
• Scream Bloody Mur­der (1973)
• Sin, You Sin­ners! (1963)
• See No Evil (2006)
• Skele­ton Man (2004)
• The St. Fran­cisville Exper­i­ment (2000)
• Track of the Moon Beast (1976)
• Tran­syl­ma­nia (2009)
• UFO: Tar­get Earth (1974)
• The Under­taker and His Pals (1966)

Copy & paste for the win.

ShezCrafti’s Rating:

3 out of 10 stars.

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