5 Creepy Robots I’m Irrationally Terrified Of

Greet­ings from the Uncanny Valley!

I’m embrac­ing my inner techno­pho­bia today with this col­lec­tion of real and fic­tional robots that, for one rea­son or another, creep me the hell out. Is my fear of these machines truly irra­tional, or am I just smart for rec­og­niz­ing the early warn­ing signs of the inevitable robopocalypse?

Boston Dynam­ics Big Dog

I’m pretty sure I saw this abom­i­na­tion in one of the  Silent Hill games.

Ani­ma­tronic Baby

I can barely even watch this. I don’t know what it is about robotic babies that makes my skin crawl so much, but this video does it to me.  Still not as creepy as the baby in Trainspot­ting , though.

Tripods from ‘War of the Worlds’

I saw this film with a girl­friend of mine late at night in an almost-empty the­ater. We were cling­ing to each other for sup­port and I almost pissed myself in fear every time I heard THAT UNGODLY SOUND these things make when they’re about to appear.

Side­bar: I don’t under­stand why Spielberg’s  War of the Worlds  gets shit on so much. Is it because peo­ple hate Tom Cruise? Or Dakota Fan­ning? Or that it’s a remake? I don’t get the hate.

Teddy Ruxpin

I know, I should just turn in my 80’s Child­hood Badge right now for admit­ting this, but I freak­ing hate Teddy Rux­pin. In this com­mer­cial, I would have been the kid in the back of the glass who dives out the win­dow the moment this thing’s soul­less, unyield­ing eyes flick­ered to life.

I’m not even sure why Teddy Rux­pin both­ers me. Maybe it’s just the way he’s designed; that he has a tape recorder on his back, that he’s a weird, ugly beige color, that his eyes look crossed…? It makes no sense because one of my favorite toys from child­hood was The Talk­ing Mother Goose , yet another robotic sto­ry­telling ani­mal that I never found creepy in the slight­est. What’s up with that?

Phillip

A mod­ern mar­vel of arti­fi­cial intel­li­gence or an early Skynet pro­to­type? You decide.

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