Album Art Porn: The Darkness – Hot Cakes

I was idly browsing the “What’s New” section of Spotify last night when, like a moth to a flame, my eyes were drawn to the warm, goldeny brown of syrup-covered pancakes. To me, pancakes are what I imagine crack cocaine must have been like to Whitney Houston–the greatest love of all (sorry, too soon?). Once I get pancakes on the brain, I won’t be satisfied until I’m shoveling forkfuls of buttery, sticky-sweet dough cakes down my gullet. Denny’s? 3:00 AM? Grand Slam? Yeah…I do that.

Looking a little closer, I find these pancakes are actually Hot Cakes, the new album by The Darkness. (By the way, do you call ‘em “pancakes” or “hot cakes?” Or are you one of those weird “flapjacks” people?) And not only do these pancakes look delicious, they’re topped with hot, half-naked women dripping with scrumptious maple syrup!

The Darkness - Hot Cakes

I don’t know about you, but sex and pancakes is one of the most awesome combinations I can think of. On the other hand, pubic hair and syrup is one of the most horrific combinations I can think of. Ouch. Still, though I give this album art top marks for aiming high in concept, even if its practical applications are not grounded in reality.

But what does it sound like?

When I first saw this was an album by The Darkness, it took me a moment to remember that they were a band I haven’t really heard from since 2003, when they came out rocking with their first single, “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” It was memorable for lead singer Justin Hawkin’s ball-grabbing falsetto vocals and bitchin’ guitar riffs that sounded like a throwback to late 70s rock. Hard to believe that was almost ten years ago. Remember how awesome that song was? Well that’s what the entire album of Hot Cakes sounds like.

This album rocks HARD. It kind of sounds like something out of Detroit Rock City, without the lameness of being K.I.S.S. From the first track, “Every Inch of You,” which drops a hearty “SUCK MY COOOOOOOCK!” scream on you, I knew I was in for a good time. From start to finish, it’s one bangin’ glam rock song after the next. Hawkins’ vocals are just as high-pitched as you might remember, but a little more refined and controlled (read: less annoying). I give The Darkness a lot of credit for being the throwbacks that they are and having the balls to put out an album like this in 2012. It really does sound like something from the 70s, and quite different from the banal, unlistenable “modern rock” bullshit of their peers. You just don’t hear music like this anymore. Which is a shame, really, because it fucking rocks. \m/

ShezCrafti’s Rating:

9 out of 10 stars.

                    

What is Album Art Porn?

A recur­ring fea­ture in which I ran­domly pick an album I’ve never heard of to lis­ten to and review based solely on its cover art. It could turn out to be the most amaz­ing thing I’ve ever heard…or com­pletely suck.

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