02-22-10

There aren’t nearly enough co-op RPGs in this world.

Last Friday night, after a crazy busy week suffering video game withdrawal,  my boyfriend Daniel and I were bored and looking for something fun to play.  Tired of our usual go-to FPS genre with old standbys like L4D, we started searching around online to see what other alternatives we could come up with.  We ended up wasting half the night looking for games that either didn’t exist or games that we didn’t own and/or couldn’t put our hands on immediately.  But we had at least narrowed it down to three criteria.  We wanted to play something that was 1) Co-op.  2) Fantasy-ish.  3) Action/adventure-ish.

Turns out there’s not a whole lot to choose from.

We searched in vain online, Googling things like “fantasy co-op games” and “co-op RPGs” only to turn up a smattering of relevant results, usually in the form of old forum posts where other co-op-starved couples before us had ventured, daring to ask the same futile question and met with the same small, precious handful of games in answer.

Eventually we realized that if we were going to get our co-op RPG on, we’d have to kick it old school.  So I drug out my boxes full of old console games and began rifling through them, and to my delight, discovered a very neglected-looking but otherwise working copy of Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance II for Xbox.  I had had fond memories of the first Dark Alliance game, which, in a former life, I had beaten on co-op with my boyfriend du jour.  But I had never spent much time with the sequel, let alone play through it co-op.  Daniel and I suddenly had plans for our Friday night.

Eerily similar to our WoW alter egos, Dan selected the Dwarf Rogue character while I, comfortable in my usual role of heal bitch, opted for the Human Cleric.  I thought perhaps we’d play through the starting zones, maybe get to level 3 or so before getting bored.  But ever since last Friday night it has been non-stop BG:DA II every chance we get.  I forgot how much FUN these types of games are, especially on co-op.

And now back to my original point–why aren’t there more co-op RPGs out there?  Off the top of my head, the ones I can think of comprise a very short list:

• Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance I & II
• Champions of Norrath 1 & 2
• Diablo
• Gauntlet Legends
• Phantasy Star Online
• Sacred 1 & 2
• Secret of Mana

If you know of any others (any GOOD ones, that is), please comment…I’m listening!

01-27-10

iPad with Wings

To the delight of Mac geeks and fanboys everywhere,  Apple unveiled its hotly anticipated tablet today.  Its unfortunate name? The iPad.

Almost immediately, the Twitterverse was rife with menstrual humor.  Here are a few of my favorite jabs:

@ThirtyTwoTwelve:  #iTampon there’s an app for twat.

@matthewathome:  Will Apple release a (Red) edition of the iPad once a month? #iTampon

@Nickdstm:  #iTampon for only $499, no strings attached!

@stoogyruby:   iPads are for 8th graders. I’m waiting for the iTampon, because I prefer to do all my interneting from inside my vagina.

And of course, because we’re all just a bunch of immature assholes, #iTampon became a top trending topic.

Update:  It was inevitable.

07-22-09

Tim Burton Confirms ‘Dark Shadows’

My name is Victoria Winters. My journey is beginning. A journey that I hope will open the doors of life to me and link my past with my future. A journey that will bring me to a strange and dark place, to the edge of the sea high atop Widows’ Hill - a house called Collinwood. A world I’ve never known, with people I’ve never met. People who tonight are still only shadows in my mind, but who will soon fill the days and nights of my tomorrows.

These are the words of Victoria Winters, and the opening to Dark Shadows, one of the most memorable TV shows of all time.  Today, vampire mania has sunken its fangs deep into popular culture.  Shows like True Blood dominate television, while The Twilight Saga is one of the bestselling book series.  But the Bill Comptons and Edward Cullens of the world owe their existence to a vampire named Barnabas Collins.

Dark Shadows is one of those old shows that makes you feel uncool if you’re unable to remember it when it was on TV.  That’s totally me.  I was born in 1981, 10 years after the last episode of Dark Shadows aired.  Being drawn to all things horror, cult, and vintage, I discovered Dark Shadows some years ago during one of those casual “have you seen anything good lately?” conversations with my parents, whom I am grateful for having passed down their good taste in movies and TV shows to me.  If there’s one true thing I can say about myself, it’s that I am never bored, because I always have a neverending list of interesting things to watch, read, or play—and never enough time to do it all.  So somehow or another, through the fond secondhand recollections of my parents and at the recommendations of others, Dark Shadows found its way onto my list.

And a few months ago I begun the long and arduous (but highly enjoyable) task of watching all 1,225 episodes of Dark Shadows.  Yeah, you read that correctly—ONE THOUSDAND TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE!  For anyone else crazy enough to do the same, Netflix has the entire Dark Shadows collection on DVD.  I think I’m somewhere in the early 300’s, but I can’t be sure.  And I am loving every dark, shadowy, and weird moment of it!

So I am absolutely THRILLED to learn that Tim Burton has just confirmed to MTV News that he will begin shooting Dark Shadows next year, a feature film based on the TV series.  And, shocking to no one, Johnny Depp will star as self-loathing vampire Barnabas Collins, confirming rumors that have been circulating amongst Dark Shadows & Burton fans for a long time now.  Both Burton and Depp are known to be huge fans of the show, having grown up with the gothic soap opera.  I think Johnny Depp will be amazing as Barnabas Collins, and Burton’s campy, gothic style is perfectly suited for the beloved TV show that was so deliciously strange.  Now if we can just get Danny Elfman to score, I will be one happy (newly-initiated) Dark Shadows fangirl!

06-02-09

Nintendo at E3: Epic Yawn, for the Most Part

Following along with Nintendo’s E3 press conference on Twitter, the live reactions were less than enthusiastic.  Well, it’s no wonder with a presenter like this:

Does she look excited about Nintendo to you?

For the most part, Nintendo’s presentation ambled along like an old woman with a bad hip.  The overall experience was so blah, #nintendofail was in danger of becoming a trending topic for a while there.

These were the lowlights:

• Wii Fit Plus - Some minor improvements to Wii Fit, such as omitting wait-times between exercises and the ability to target specific areas.  Riveting!
• Wii MotionPlus - Add-on hardware to make the Wiimote sensors more precise.  Will run you about $20 for something that makes the Wii function the way it’s supposed to.  Oh and by the way, some new games will require it, like Red Steel 2.
  (noticing a trend here with the tacking “Plus” onto everything?)
• Terrible scripted jokes between Bill and Reggie.
• Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Crystal Bearers - Yet another Final Fantasy title…
• Women’s Murder Club: Games of Passion - New “interactive fiction” game series for DS, adding another nail to the coffin of real adventure games.
• Style Savvy - Yet another brainless pink-packaged game aimed at tweenaged girls.
• DSi circle jerk: over 1M units sold in less than 2 months, and DSi gamers will soon be able to share photos on Facebook.
• Wii Vitality Sensor - Peripheral that monitors pulse rate, nervousness, etc. I don’t even know what the fuck to say about this…

I’m on the fence about:

• Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks - Demo playable at E3 this week, but didn’t like the few screenshots we saw.
• Mario vs. Donkey Kong - Players will be able to design their own levels, gameplay looked kinda fun.
• Golden Sun DS
• WariorWare DIY - Gamers can design their own minigames from scratch & share with friends; kinda neat, I guess.
• Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicals - Another on-rails shooter from the RE franchise.

But there were a few sprinkles of cool:

• Wii Sports Resort - Basketball, archery, skydiving & more.
• Super Mario Galaxy sequel - yes, yes, yes!  The demo looked awesome, the graphics bright and beautiful.

And then, saving the best for last, Nintendo made up for much of its E3 snorefest with the announcement of…

Metroid: Other M

Okay, seriously, I want this game NOW!

Update: Penny Arcade sums up my feelings exactly.

05-03-09

LOTR Fan Film: $3,000 of Awesome

What can you do with $3,000 and a group of dedicated LOTR fans?  Make a kick-ass fan movie, that’s what.  The Hunt for Gollum is a 40-minute fan-made film based on the Lord of the Rings books and movies.  And more importantly, it’s good.  Surprisingly so.

Based on Tolkien’s appendices, The Hunt for Gollum remains true to its source material and fits in nicely with the three official Peter Jackson films.  The story is a prequel of sorts that follows Aragorn on his quest from Gandalf to track down and capture the creature Gollum, who knows the whereabouts of the One Ring.  It takes place before Gandalf returns to The Shire, to warn Frodo of the dangers of his burden.

Everything from the costumes and make-up to the film’s score and acting is well done, and closely mimics Jackson’s style of direction and visual effects.  The fight scenes were epic and well choreographed.  

Even Gollum looks and sounds great:

It’s an impressive accomplishment for such a limited budget (the entire cast and crew worked for free).  Huge props to the filmmakers, who are as talented as they are dedicated.  The film was released today, May 3rd, and is available to watch free online.  You can also check out the making of this epic undertaking here.  Visit www.TheHuntForGollum.com, or click  the banner below.  If you’re a LOTR fan, I highly recommend you go watch it—NOW!

04-28-09

Live-Action Ninja Turtles Return for 2011

In geeky movie news this month that makes me feel like a fifth-grader again, TMNT co-creater Peter Laird confirmed in Variety rumors of another live-action Turtles movie planned for 2011.  The announcement comes on the heels of TMNT’s 25th anniversary celebration.  Other than making me feel old, I’m also damn excited.  Because in Hollywood, everything I loved growing up in the 1980s is suddenly cool again.  The new Turtles film will be produced by Scott Mednick of Legendary Pictures, who is currently producing the soon to be released Where The Wild Things Are, another live-action fantasy film (which happens to be based on yet another completely awesome thing from my childhood).  And if these screenshots are any indication of what’s in store for the next TMNT, then color me green with excitement.

After the original live-action movie, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films went from bad to worse, though 2007’s animated TMNT was OK.  Then again, I’m of the opinion that the first Turtles movie is one of the greatest if underrated comic book movies of all time—but I may be a little biased.  I was obsessed with all things Ninja Turtles as a kid.  Like really obsessed.  If it had a TMNT logo on it, I owned it.  I could quote the movies word for word (probably still can).

My wishlist for the new live-action Turtles movie:

• Darker, grittier, edgier Turtles truer to the original Mirage comic books.
• Curse words.  Most TMNT fans have grown up, and so should the movies.
• Sex (if only to satisfy my morbid curiosity). 
• Realstic CGI that doesn’t look like CGI.
• Back to basics origins/roots storyline. (Think Batman Begins.)
• April O’Neil, and anyone other than Paige Turco to play her.
• Blood, weapons, and graphic violence.
• Moar Raphael.*

Things I could live without:

• Shell-tastic turtle puns.
• Any character who exists solely in the Archie comics series.
• No Venus.
• Random kid-who-meets-the-Turtles character (a’la Keno in Turltes II, and later Yoshi in Turtles III).
• Any storyline involving time travel.
• A Turtles-themed rap song.
• A PG rating.
• Cowabunga.

The sucky part about all this?  Waiting two years.

*Raphael is still the coolest turtle, and if you don’t agree with me, I’m not sharing my Ninja Turtles fruit snacks with you.