I kind of miss Corey Feldman’s Michael Jackson phase.

Corey Feldman at Michael Jackson's Funeral

Once upon a time, Corey Feldman was a hot teen idol at the top of his game, and once upon a time it was also cool to love Michael Jackson. Hey, remember when Corey Feldman used to be obsessed with Michael Jackson? Those were some fun times.

“Michael Jackson was not like anyone you have ever met before. He was a special human being. He was an enigma. He was a genius. He was extremely educated. He had a brilliant sense of humor. He was a good man.  He was the most extraordinary man I have ever met. He had an aura and an energy that was unparallelled by any lifeforce I have come into contact with on this planet. The point is you could never possibly understand what he was or who he was. No matter how much prying or gossipping you do. I was incredibly close with him at one point in time, we told each other everything. I was closer with him than few ever were and our friendship lasted for 18 years.”

That’s a direct quote from Corey Feldman after Jackson’s untimely death in 2009, and also a few years after Corey ultimately reversed his previous accusations of potential child molestation against the singer. Regardless of your feelings about the now decades-old Michael Jackson controversy, you have to admit the ’80s and ’90s wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun without him.

And so it is in that spirit which I fondly remember the era of Corey Feldman’s Michael Jackson obsession, a time we can all look back on with grace, humility, and something approaching awed bewilderment that this type of thing was actually considered cool once.

The Apex of 1980s Pop Culture

It wouldn’t be until Vanilla Ice ninja rapped in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze that we’d get another pop culture pairing of such epic proportions. (Come on now, I couldn’t do a blog post about the guy who voiced Donatello and not mention the Ninja Turtles, could I?)

Corey Feldman and Michael Jackson

Dream a Little Dream

In this sorely underrated teen classic from the 1980′s, Corey gets his Michael Jackson on to woo a smoking hot Meredith Salenger–and presumably thousands of obsessed Corey Feldman fangirls–in what is probably one of the most awkwardly choreographed dance sequences ever.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxzLMJBOhHA

It’s at least charming enough to make the eighties pop-infused remake of the title song tolerable, which was recorded by Mickey Thomas of Starship, by the way, in case you were wondering why it sounds a little like “We Built This City.”

Dream a Little Dream 2

Unless you’re a hardcore Corey Feldman fan (do they refer to themselves as Hardcorey?) I don’t recommend ever watching Dream a Little Dream 2 outside of this YouTube clip that features more of Corey Feldman channeling the spirit of Michael Jackson, but without the added benefit of Meredith Salenger’s hotness, or the added benefit of a good movie, for that matter.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdDLO4Neo7k

Rock & Roll High School Forever

Yes, this early ’90s b-movie is supposed to be a “smash hit sequel” to the Rock & Roll High School you’re probably more familiar with, the classic 1978 film starring The Ramones.

Corey’s role in this film is noteworthy for his Bad era Michael Jackson style wardrobe and crotch-grabbing dance moves. Shame this only has a 4.1 rating on IMDB. It’s worth at least a 4.2 for Namrok’s token Asian character shenanigans and scary lesbian Dr. Vadar.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb4UK_tG8KY

Corey Loved to Raid Michael Jackson’s Closet

Sorry, that’s not meant to be some perverse insinuation about Corey’s questionable relationship with the late alleged child molester, but a commentary on his well-documented obsession with Michael Jackson’s fashion.

Here are some shots of Corey in his full-on Michael Jackson cosplay get-up.

She says I am the one.

Not my lover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh yeah, and that time Corey tried to sing like Michael Jackson, too.

I saved the best for last.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMYoUVrkFYE

I don’t know if Mr. T meant to coin the term “absoludicrous” or if it was just a slur of his speech, but that’s officially my new favorite word.

I’m not ashamed to admit I once found Corey Feldman attractive. I was ten. That’s just how things go. What I am ashamed to admit is that I’ve only seen Captain EO once.

Edit: Speaking of things that used to be cool, remember when tiled repeating backgrounds were all the rage in web design? Whoever designed Corey Feldman’s Official Website sure does.

 

Splode to Joy
These three magazines were my life in the early '90s.
Bram Stoker's Dracula [31 DVDs of Halloween]