I lost my horse and my dignity in The Swamp of Sadness.

Fact: The Neverending Story is suicide-inducing depression fuel disguised as a children’s movie.

Here is but an abridged overview of the suffering contained within: bullying, coping with the loss of your dead mother, child psychologist-concerning levels of insecurity, asshole adults, unsympathetic giant turtles, wolf-like beasts that feed on children, and of course, the simple matter of the end of the world.

But there is one scene in particular that out-depresses all the others and never fails to reduce me to a pathetic, sniffling mess:

When Artax Dies in the Swamp of Sadness

Artax Dies in the Swamp of Sadness

It’s one thing to lose your beloved horse. It’s another thing to watch him slowly sink to his inevitable death while you have no choice but to stand there and watch it happen. But it’s on another level of PLEASE GOD JUST KILL ME NOW all together to have this happen in a place called “The Swamp of Sadness.” And that music—oh God, that music.

Over twenty years later, it still gets to me.  Here’s the scene, if you don’t mind having your day ruined:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y688upqmRXo

I mean come on, that is some traumatizing shit to see as a child.

Thank goodness we had the shiny, happy Neverending Story theme song by the always hair-fashionable, openly-gay Limhal to lighten things up (which I recently learned sounds pretty fantastic on a ZX Spectrum, by the way), otherwise I might have attempted to off myself with Pop-Rocks and Pepsi at an early age.

Limhal - Neverending Story

Other Lacrimal Fluid-Generating Posts from The League

Won­der­ing what this is all about? This week’s assign­ment from The League of Extra­or­di­nary Blog­gers was to write about the things that make us cry–what movie, TV show, book, etc. turns you into a blubbering baby every time you see it? Here’s a round-up of what they said:

My Top 10 Most Anticipated Movies of 2012
'Dark Shadows' Trailer is a Big Pile of Suck
NINJA FORCE FIVE, Assemble!