Nintendo at E3: Epic Yawn, for the Most Part

Following along with Nintendo’s E3 press conference on Twitter, the live reactions were less than enthusiastic.  Well, it’s no wonder with a presenter like this:

cammie-nintendo-presenter

Does she look excited about Nintendo to you?

For the most part, Nintendo’s presentation ambled along like an old woman with a bad hip.  The overall experience was so blah, #nintendofail was in danger of becoming a trending topic for a while there.

These were the lowlights:

  • Wii Fit Plus – Some minor improvements to Wii Fit, such as omitting wait-times between exercises and the ability to target specific areas.  Riveting!
  • Wii MotionPlus – Add-on hardware to make the Wiimote sensors more precise.  Will run you about $20 for something that makes the Wii function the way it’s supposed to.  Oh and by the way, some new games will require it, like Red Steel 2.
    (noticing a trend here with the tacking “Plus” onto everything?)
  • Terrible scripted jokes between Bill and Reggie.
  • Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Crystal Bearers – Yet another Final Fantasy title…
  • Women’s Murder Club: Games of Passion – New “interactive fiction” game series for DS, adding another nail to the coffin of real adventure games.
  • Style Savvy – Yet another brainless pink-packaged game aimed at tweenaged girls.
  • DSi circle jerk: over 1M units sold in less than 2 months, and DSi gamers will soon be able to share photos on Facebook.
  • Wii Vitality Sensor – Peripheral that monitors pulse rate, nervousness, etc. I don’t even know what the fuck to say about this…

I’m on the fence about:

  • Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks – Demo playable at E3 this week, but didn’t like the few screenshots we saw.
  • Mario vs. Donkey Kong – Players will be able to design their own levels, gameplay looked kinda fun.
  • Golden Sun DS
  • WariorWare DIY – Gamers can design their own minigames from scratch & share with friends; kinda neat, I guess.
  • Resident Evil: The Darkside ChronicalsAnother on-rails shooter from the RE franchise.

But there were a few sprinkles of cool:

  • Wii Sports Resort – Basketball, archery, skydiving & more.
  • Super Mario Galaxy sequel – yes, yes, yes!  The demo looked awesome, the graphics bright and beautiful.

And then, saving the best for last, Nintendo made up for much of its E3 snorefest with the announcement of…

Metroid: Other M

metroid-other-m

Okay, seriously, I want this game NOW!

Update: Penny Arcade sums up my feelings exactly.

44% of the US are Gamers
My Top 10 Beach & Ocean Themed Retro Games
I Can Has KickStarter? [Super Techno Kitten Adventure]