What’s this? A Michael Bay movie I kind of actually want to see?

Preposterous. Never thought I’d ever type the combination of words that make up this headline, but here we are.

The 80s! Miami! Body building! Steroids! Bullets! Running in slow motion! Hot cars! THE ROCK! I’m actually not sure what the hell it is I just watched, but it looks like something Michael Bay was born to direct. This is one of those movies that will either be terrible (The Happening) or totally fucking awesome (Boogie Nights), which, in my experience, any movie starring Mark Wahlberg can only go one of those two ways.

See, people think I hate Michael Bay for that whole Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles thing. Not true. I’m definitely not what you’d call “a fan” of the guy, I just think he should apply his typical “blow shit up first, worry about plot later” moviemaking formula to something other than beloved fan properties. I believe he’s capable of making a totally awesome as balls original movie.

Will Pain & Gain be that movie? I don’t know. But it certainly takes me back to the good old days when Marky Mark (I will never stop calling him that, deal with it) looked like this:

Marky Mark 90s Calvin Klein Ads

What? I’m not made of stone, people.

Pain & Gain

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