I recently received this book as a gift:
I didn’t have the heart to tell the person who gave it to me that I’ve already seen 86.2% of the movies in it. (Seriously, I did the math.)
As a self-proclaimed aficionado of bad movies, I would love to be able to say I could recommend this book to you, which would look great on your coffee table and might even trick people into thinking you’re hipper than you actually are, but sadly I don’t feel it’s deserving of the official ShezCrafti Stamp of Approval.
Why?
- The author is extremely unfunny.
- Actual product description: “Sure, everyone’s seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. But as you’ll learn in this shockingly tasteless collection of great awful movies, there’s so much more to the world of truly bad film.”
- It includes Suspiria.
- It includes Kung Fu Hustle.
- It includes Red Dawn.
- …and many other cult classics that don’t deserve the lame attempt at mockery that Steve Miller is peddling here.
The thing about “bad movies” is that “bad” doesn’t always mean “not a good film.” Yes, truly bad movies do exist, but most of the ones in this collection are horror movies that are supposed to be bad, cult films that actually are good, and experimental oddities that are notable or groundbreaking in some way. And the majority of them are horror films.
Since all 150 films are listed right in the book’s table of contents–which is freely available to preview at Amazon–I feel no guilt whatsoever in revealing them to you right here:
- Battlefield Earth (2000)
- Bride of the Monster (1955)
- Creature with the Atom Brain (1955)
- Hideous! (1997)
- Troll 2 (1990)
- The Black Dahlia (2006)
- The Conqueror (1956)
- Heaven’s Gate (1980)
- Howard the Duck (1986)
- Hudson Hawk (1991)
- Ishtar (1987)
- Sahara (2005)
- The Spirit (2008)
- Black Dragons (1942)
- Creature From the Black Lagoon (1954)
- The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932)
- Red Dawn (1984)
- Trapped by Television (1936)
- Zombies on Broadway (1945)
- Amityville Dollhouse (1996)
- The Corpse Vanishes (1942)
- The House on Skull Mountain (1974)
- Lady Frankenstein (1971)
- Cannibal Holocaust (1980)
- Cemetery Man (1994)
- Dead Alive (1992)
- Deep Red (1975)
- Demons (1985)
- The Machine Girl (2008)
- Re-Animator (1985)
- The Ruins (2008)
- The Street Fighter (1974)
- Susperia (1977)
- The Traveler (2006)
- Urban Flesh: Rebirth Edition (2007)
- April Fool’s Day (1986)
- My Bloody Valentine (1981)
- Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)
- Satan’s Little Helper (2004)
- Silent Night, Bloody Night (1974)
- Bad Taste (1987)
- The Bloody Brood (1959)
- Cannibal: The Musical (1993)
- Dementia 13 (1963)
- Hangmen (1987)
- Kiss Daddy Goodnight (1987)
- Return to Horror High (1987)
- Ten Fingers of Death (1971)
- 1941 (1979)
- Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)
- Batman & Robin (1997)
- Catwoman (2004)
- City Heat (1984)
- The Love Guru (2008)
- On Deadly Ground (1994)
- The Reaping (2007)
- The Black Cat (1934)
- From Beyond (1986)
- Modesty Blaise (1966)
- Moonraker (1979)
- The Punisher (1989)
- The Raven (1935)
- Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)
- Attack of the Giant Leeches (2008)
- Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! (1978)
- Bite Me! (2004)
- Boogeyman (2005)
- Cry of the Banshee (1970)
- Die Hard Dracula (1998)
- Evil Bong (2006)
- The Fury of the Wolfman (1972)
- The Giant Claw (1957)
- Humanoids from the Deep (1980)
- Jack Frost (1997)
- Jeepers Creepers (2001)
- Kung Fu Zombie (1982)
- The Manster (1959)
- Monsturd (2003)
- The Mummy’s Shroud (1967)
- Return of the Living Dead: Rave to the Grave (2005)
- Snowbeast (1977)
- The Sound of Horror (1964)
- Tsui Hark’s Vampire Hunters (2002)
- Undead or Alive (2007)
- The Wasp Woman (1959)
- Werewolf in a Girls’ Dormitory (1961)
- Zombies of Mora Tau (1957)
- Attack of the Monsters (1969)
- Black Magic Wars (1982)
- City Hunter (1993)
- Fantasy Mission Force (1982)
- For Your Height Only (1981)
- Gammera the Invincible (1966)
- Kung Fu Hustle (2004)
- Ninja Champion (1985)
- Ninja the Protector (1986)
- Reincarnation (2005)
- Sister Street Fighter (1974)
- The Ape Man (1943)
- Buttcrack (1998)
- Cadaverella (2007)
- The Creeps (1997)
- Dead Dudes in the House (1991)
- The Demons of Ludlow (1983)
- Fist of Fear, Touch of Death (1980)
- Gothic (1986)
- Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter (2001)
- Nudist Colony of the Dead (1991)
- Postal (2007)
- Satanic Yuppies (1996)
- Skeleton Key (2006)
- Suburban Sasquatch (2004)
- The Witches’ Mountain (1972)
- Danger: Diabolik (1968)
- My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)
- Sgt. Kabukiman, N.Y.P.D. (1990)
- Ultrachrist! (2003)
- Alien Blood (1999)
- Bad Channels (1992)
- Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
- Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
- Xtro (1983)
- Alone in the Dark (2005)
- An American Carol (2008)
- The Astro-Zombies (1968)
- Back From Hell (1993)
- The Castle of Fu Manchu (1969)
- The Dead Talk Back (1993)
- The Evil Brain From Outer Space (1965)
- Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
- Future Force (1989)
- Graveyard of Horror (1971)
- Hobgoblins (1988)
- The Isle of the Snake People (1971)
- The Killer Eye (1999)
- Laser Mission (1989)
- Maniac (1934)
- Monster a-Go-Go (1965)
- Night Crawlers (1996)
- The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (1971)
- Ninja Phantom Heroes (1987)
- Oasis of the Zombies (1981)
- Ring of Terror (1962)
- Rockabilly Vampire (1996)
- Scream Bloody Murder (1973)
- Sin, You Sinners! (1963)
- See No Evil (2006)
- Skeleton Man (2004)
- The St. Francisville Experiment (2000)
- Track of the Moon Beast (1976)
- Transylmania (2009)
- UFO: Target Earth (1974)
- The Undertaker and His Pals (1966)
Copy & paste for the win.
ShezCrafti’s Rating:
3 out of 10 stars.
