I happen to love the Sega CD dearly and hold a special place in my heart for it, but holy shit did it have some terrible commercials. It’s a tough job marketing game consoles that have a maximum of 64 colors displayable simultaneously, but somebody’s gotta do it.
Today I’m waxing nostalgic about my favorite full motion video peripheral with this round-up of five awesomely bad Sega CD commercials:
“WHOOOOOOOA…NOTHING ELSE MOVES LIKE IT!”
Apparently Sega CD’s most bad ass feature is…that the disc spins.
This 5-minute long in-store commercial/demo reel for the Sega CD is a typical example of early 90’s teen-centric marketing: choppy “in your face” editing, subliminal text messages, kids expressing themselves in ironic sound bytes, and employs what I like to call the acid wash jeans filter. It could easily be mistaken for an episode of Nickelodeon’s Roundhouse. I won’t blame you if you can’t sit through the whole thing.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jypqNSZMgnM
Hey, was that Lucas at 1:28? (“Sega CD? SO BAD!”)
“Still don’t have a Sega CD? What are you waiting for, Nintendo to make one?”
I hate it when angry black men break the fourth wall and fuck up my living room.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCQRcinZYH8
“There is no Nintendo CD.”
Jesus, didn’t Dwayne Wayne have anything better to do?
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6fSeJ50As4
“Now that’s tight.”
Promo spot for Sega CD featuring Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch: Make My Video. This is about as 1990s as it gets, kids.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2OT71hDRPc
“Just when you thought you’d seen everything…”
Explosions! Fire! Sharks! Cannons! Caution: may be too EXTREME for some viewers. Only watch this if you can handle how EXTREMELY EXTREME it is!
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdoVjrhJn8Y
I hope you’ve all learned some valuable lessons today.
