5 Awesomely Bad Sega CD Commercials

Terrible  Sega CD Commercials from the 1990sI happen to love the Sega CD dearly and hold a special place in my heart for it, but holy shit did it have some terrible commercials.  It’s a tough job marketing game consoles that have a maximum of 64 colors displayable simultaneously, but somebody’s gotta do it.

Today I’m waxing nostalgic about my favorite full motion video peripheral with this round-up of five awesomely bad Sega CD commercials:

“WHOOOOOOOA…NOTHING ELSE MOVES LIKE IT!”

Apparently Sega CD’s most bad ass feature is…that the disc spins.

This 5-minute long in-store commercial/demo reel for the Sega CD is a typical example of early 90′s teen-centric marketing: choppy “in your face” editing, subliminal text messages, kids expressing themselves in ironic sound bytes, and employs what I like to call the acid wash jeans filter.  It could easily be mistaken for an episode of Nickelodeon’s Roundhouse.  I won’t blame you if you can’t sit through the whole thing.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jypqNSZMgnM

Hey, was that Lucas at 1:28? (“Sega  CD? SO BAD!”)

“Still don’t have a Sega CD? What are you waiting for, Nintendo to make one?”

I hate it when angry black men break the fourth wall and fuck up my living room.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCQRcinZYH8

“There is no Nintendo CD.”

Jesus, didn’t Dwayne Wayne have anything better to do?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6fSeJ50As4

“Now that’s tight.”

Promo spot for Sega CD featuring Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch: Make My Video. This is about as 1990s as it gets, kids.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2OT71hDRPc

“Just when you thought you’d seen everything…”

Explosions! Fire! Sharks! Cannons! Caution: may be too EXTREME for some viewers. Only watch this if you can handle how EXTREMELY EXTREME it is!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdoVjrhJn8Y

I hope you’ve all learned some valuable lessons today.

 

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