I’m sure I’ll get a lot of flack for this, but of all the ’80s movie serial killers, I’ve always thought Jason Voorhees was the most lame. His backstory is weak (honestly, what’s so scary about hydrocephalus?) and he’s rather slow and stupid as serial killers go. I also suspect he’s just bitter that nobody ever thinks to include him in their wild sex and drug parties. I was totally rooting for Freddy in Freddy vs. Jason.
The Friday the 13th movies never managed to scare me as a kid, and Jason’s mom does all the heavy-lifting in the original anyway. Besides, I just can’t take a deranged psychopath seriously after being a guest on Arsenio Hall. A public relations move like that screams attention whore and smacks of a desperate need for acceptance.
Oh well. Happy Friday the 13th anyway.
Bros before hoes:
Nobody said he was the smartest serial killer.
Little-known fact about Jason Voorhees: he’s a hell of a baker. But he’s also extremely narcissistic.
And remember, kids:
